Mommy? I know you don't love me mommy, and you ran out of your "happy pills" tonight, so you're kinda mad, but I was just wondering if you could take me to the emergency room, 'cause

Johnny the Homicidal Maniac Ate My Balls

It's not my fault, mommy. I tried to stop him. I've been saying my prayers every night since he moved in.

"God, please don't let the scary neighbor guy gulp my testicles like oysters."

But 'Nny kept coming. Last night he came in, and he said

He just looked down at me all sad.

Me and Shmee were scared.

All of a sudden, he grabbed Shmee and jumped out the window, yelling "Balls, Mr. Bear, balls balls balls!"

Shmee came back through the window hours later. He seemed okay, but he looked kinda weird.

He told me about how he and 'Nny went out to eat,

and Johnny even got him a snack at the Spee-D-Mart afterwards.

I thought everything would be okay after that, but when I went to the potty, 'Nny was standing at the window.

He turned around with a wild look in his eyes, screaming,

and that was when

Johnny the Homicidal Maniac Ate My Balls

So please mommy, take me to the hospital...I'm bleeding an awful lot...
...I feel kinda sleepy...Goodnight...mommy...

Mr.T Ate My Balls